College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
