we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
