so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
