I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
