So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
