508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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