Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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