people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
