that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
