what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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