Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize