So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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