Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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