i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
