Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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