i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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