Already got asked if we're dating
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
