Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
