So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
