Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Say something about gay babies.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
