a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
