I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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