Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
