I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
