Can i not drive my cunt home
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
