Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
