Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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