Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
