I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
is it fun? or sober?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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