me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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