I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
