Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
