his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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