Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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