dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Threesome in a minivan. New low
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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