When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
