I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
