It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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