Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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