I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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