I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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