on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
