Sry I called you an 8
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
