sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
