if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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