in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
