I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize