I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
