just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
