It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
