I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
