I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
