our cab driver is having phone sex.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
