Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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