So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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