the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The adults are the big ones right?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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