the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
