thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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