Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
