I bet he comes in French.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
