I look better un-naked...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
